Frontier Psychiatrist

CMJ 2010 Band Name Awards

Posted on: October 20, 2010

The CMJ Music Marathon kicked off yesterday and runs through Saturday night. Confused about which of the hundreds of shows you should see? Let our 2010 CMJ Band Name Awards be your guide:

Biggest Mouthful

Runners Up: The Pains of Being Pure at Heart (New York); Cute is what we aim for (Buffalo, NY)

Winner: The Bewitched Hands on Top of Our Heads (Reims, France)

Most Offensive

Runners Up: Vagina Panther (Brooklyn); Dances with White Girls (Philadelphia); Cerebral Ballzy (Brooklyn); Kittens Ablaze (New York)

Winner: Uncle Bad Touch (Montreal)

Best Use of exclamation point(s)

Runners Up: Right Away, Great Captain!  (Atlanta); Blast Off!!! (Brooklyn)

Winner: Supercute! (New York)

Most Cryptic

Runner Up: Mouth’s Cradle (Allentown, PA/Syracuse, NY)

Winner: Goes Cube (Brooklyn)

Best Historical Reference

Runner Up: Dred Scott Trio (Brooklyn)

Winner: Fort Wilson Riot (Minneapolis)


Most Emo

Runners Up: Dark Dark Dark (New York); The Pains of Being Pure at Heart

Winner: Black Feelings (Montreal)

Best _______ and the ________ (without alliteration)

Runners Up: Poofy and the Bus Boys (New York); Phil and the Osophers (Brooklyn)

Winner: Elizabeth and the Catapult (Brooklyn)

Best _______ and the ________ (with alliteration)

Runners Up: Nyle vs. the Naysayers (New York); Paul and the Patients (Brooklyn)

Winner: Loomis and the Lust (Santa Barbara, CA)

Best High Society

Runners up: The Debutante Hour (Brooklyn);  Summer People (Binghamton/Syracuse, NY); Old Money (New York/Vancouver)

Winner: Gardening, Not Architecture (Los Angeles)

Best Low Society

Dale Earnhardt Jr. Jr. (Detroit)

Best Arboreal

Runners Up: Tall Tall Trees (New York); Scattered Trees (Chicago)

Winner: We are Trees (Virginia Beach, VA) Hear four songs on Bandcamp

We Are Trees

Best Beatles Allusion

Runners Up: PS I Love You (Kingston, Ontario); Revolver (France)

Winner: Gringo Star (Atlanta)

Best Sartorial

Runner Up: The Corduroy Suit (New York); Rachel Sage and the Sequins (New York)

Winner:  How to Dress Well (Chicago)

Best LGBT:

Runners Up: Gay for Johnny Depp (Brooklyn)

Winner: Mantyhose (Stamford)

Best Repetition

Runners Up: Ghost Ghost (New York); Dark Dark Dark (New York)

Winner: Smile Smile (Dallas)

Vodpod videos no longer available.

Best Youth

Runners Up: Young Mammals (Houston); Young Buffalo (Oxford, Miss.)

Winner: Young Man (Chicago)

Best Panda

Runner Up: The White Panda (Chicago/Los Angeles)

Winner: Hot Panda (Edmonton, Alberta)

Best Tiger

Runners Up: Miniature Tigers (Brooklyn); Year of the Tiger (Brooklyn)

Winner: The Ghost of a Saber Tooth Tiger (New York) Listen to the whole album on NPR

Best Owl

Runner Up: Weird Owl (Brooklyn)

Winner: Autumn Owls (Dublin)

Best Birds (Non-Owl)

Runners Up: Diamond Doves (New York/Providence); Sister Sparrow and the Dirty Birds (Brooklyn)

Winner: Penguin Prison (New York)

[Penguin Prison, “Something I’m Not”]

Best Animal (Non-bird, Non-tiger, Non-panda)

Runners Up: We are Country Mice (Brooklyn); Wild Yaks (Brooklyn)

Winner: Pepper Rabbit (Silver Lake, CA)

Best Alliteration

Runners Up: Rebel Romance (Murfreesboro, TN); Penguin Prison (New York)

Winner: Seedy Seeds (Cincinnati)

Most Morbid

Runner Up: O’Death (New York)

Winner: Death is Not a Joyride (Austin)

Best Phonetic Spelling

Runner Up: Smif-n-Wessun (Brooklyn)

Winner: Kosha Dillz (New Jersey)

Best Mathematical

Runner Up: Math the Band (Providence)

Winner: Long Division (Norfolk, VA)

Keith Meatto is co-editor of Frontier Psychiatrist. He recently wrote about GAYNGS and Glasser.


10 Responses to "CMJ 2010 Band Name Awards"

[…] first full day of CMJ 2010 presented ambitious competition among the dozens of venues and bands vying for attention and at the […]

[…] Keith Meatto is co-editor of Frontier Psychiatrist. He recently reviewed albums by Glasser and GAYNGS and wrote the CMJ 2010 Band Name Awards. […]

[…] band won our hearts when we compiled the 2010 CMJ Band Name Awards. As it turns out, their music is tougher than their name implies. Poofy and the Bus Boys play a […]

[…] Keith Meatto is co-editor of Frontier Psychiatrist. He recently reviewed albums by Glasser and GAYNGS and wrote the CMJ 2010 Band Name Awards. […]

[…] Faulkner. After a string of New York shows in October at CMJ (and an honorable mention in our 2010 CMJ Band Name Awards) the trio has released “Three Deep,” a track from their forthcoming album.  Perhaps in […]

[…] of Frontier Psychiatrist. He recently reviewed a Halloween show by The Xylopholks and wrote the 2010 CMJ Band Name Awards. In his spare time, he reviews music and books for The Jewish Daily […]

[…] FP Band Name Awards winner and French citizens The Bewitched Hands on Top of Our Heads released the following […]

[…] can bleed naturally into the impulse to shock.  Don’t believe us?  Take a look at our CMJ Band Name Awards, specifically the category “most offensive.”  While such names are consistently […]

[…] have flocked to Austin, Texas this week for the annual South By Southwest festival. As with the CMJ Music Marathon in New York,  we find ourselves amazed (and amused) by the names of the bands on the bill. Trend […]

[…] to study the latest trends in band names, a life decision as crucial as naming your child. Like our 2010 awards, this year’s list ranges from clever to silly to downright offensive. And if you’re […]

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